Blog for November 9th, 2026
Reaching Out to Loved Ones
During this last week there have been some very significant changes in this world, due to the Midterm elections, family and friends that have passed away and a spot inventory that I did, it was on relationships. Relationships that matter to me but have become more and more distant. I found I was not ok with that. So, I wrote on it and came up with some solutions.
The most obvious solution is to communicate with the people on my list that I am missing and make a real effort to stay in touch on some kind of regular basis. All of these people are important to me and I love them. I recognize that these people have all “been there for me” at some point in my life. Some, for long periods of time. Some of them I am related to and some are friends that have become like family to me over the years.
In some ways, it was heartbreaking as I took this inventory and took stock of these relationships. In other ways, it was heartwarming and filled me with gratitude, love and warmth to think of the people who have been there for me through all my trials and tribulations. Through my addiction as well as my recovery, the losses and achievements, graduations, grandchildren being born and losing so many loved ones along the way. However, right here I must say three of the most significant people are my sisters, and the Lord has seen fit to take them all home, my sister Shirley was taken last March, and she was my last living sister.
The love, care, support and guidance they all gave me is incomparable. This makes me cry now, because there will never be anything like them in life, ever again. The only exception is my husband, he is still here with me, thank God and he loves me a lot too. This causes me to feel the blessing of them all deep down inside. Again, thank you Lord.
So, as I began to live in the solution of reaching out to the special people on my list, it has really lifted me up this week, even through the election, the deaths of a cousin and a friend in recovery. There were a couple of themes to why we are losing contact as I wrote and prayed. The first being that a couple of them seem to be having cognitive issues. But if I keep at it, they will respond sooner or later, usually later.
The other is busyness, this of course is always the culprit for losing touch with people, I hate it. I know that it takes real effort on all our parts to keep in touch and show our love and support to each other. I also realize that God sends people in different directions, as life happens, and it does, to all of us. Therefore, if these certain people are that important to me, then I must make every effort to keep in touch.
I know for some, this does not matter. Many people are quite happy or at least ok with drifting away from who and what they once knew, but some of us are not. I’m sure that one day my time will come when I will not feel like making all the effort or being in what I call “lop-sided relationships”. But for now, this is what my Higher Power has me doing. I do not believe I took that spot inventory by chance and zeroed in on the people who have meant so much to me but I’m not in touch with so much anymore.
Regarding the “lop-sided relationships”, I made a decision many years ago not to do that when it became apparent to me that I was the one doing all the reaching out and making all the effort to nurture our relationship. This idea mostly came about from sponsoring women who would not follow direction, work their program etc. I do not “fire” sponsee’s, but I do back off, way off. The idea of asking a person to sponsor you is because you want what they have. If that is the case, then they should be calling and following directions, on some kind of regular schedule.
But that idea also applied to possible friendships with co-workers, church friends, neighbors, whoever, I do not want to be the one putting in all the effort while they shine me on. Yet again, the people on my list I just did are not those people. I have a rich and deep history with all of them. So, I will override that self-imposed rule with them. Because I could clearly see that they did not mean for this to happen anymore than I did. But I am the one that is aware now and that puts me in the position to do the reaching out.
As far as the elections and deaths go, I did what I could beforehand. I voted my best conscience after I read and researched all the issues and candidates. As far as my relatives that passed, I loved them and was kind to them when I was around them, but at this point I am powerless. I stay on Step Eleven daily, praying for the knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry it out. If there is something more I can do, He will reveal it to me, which He hasn’t. Except sending condolences to loved ones.
But what He has revealed to me is that if I care and love these people on my list and they are so important to me, then do something, like text, call, email, invite them out to coffee or something. Maybe send a card, the old-fashioned way, in snail mail, like my sister Judy used to do! Wow, I just now remembered that. I still have her cards! See how blessed I am?!
If you have some people who are drifting away that you care about, I urge you to reach out, somehow, someway, I am already feeling so much better for it. Our God given relationships are a treasure and should be treated as such.
Question of the Week: Is there anyone you have been missing lately that you could reach out to?
